You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You know, be my cock's hype man.
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He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
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I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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