left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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