clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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