Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
