I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize