I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize