Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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