Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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