so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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