What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You ate ashes out of my bong
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
