Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
