I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
