The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think pants incapable of making pants work
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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