why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
