Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
