How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Randomize
