So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
