When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
