You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I believe in your delicious
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
