I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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