you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
