it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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