i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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