This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
