I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
