Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize