here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
