I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
