did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
