Soap is not a condiment
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Dignity is for republicans.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
