I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
