Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
