Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
