Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
