Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
