It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
