Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
