Apparently you make a good broom.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
