Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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