I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
