Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
