You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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