You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
