But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
