i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
