Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
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there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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