So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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