We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
