One girl and one boy is just not enough.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize