I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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