i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
