we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
