Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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