i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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