every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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