Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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