she looked like the before picture.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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