And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you would pick up someone in the library
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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