On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
