he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
