the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
