There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
