i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
